The List That Changed My Life (And What It Taught Me About Why We Stay Stuck)
Today I found a list I made in 2020.
It stopped me in my tracks.
It was the list my husband and I had written when we were trying to decide whether to stay in New York City or move to Ireland.
On one side, we wrote down what we wanted our life to look and feel like.
We wanted a home with space.
A big dining table where friends and family could gather.
Our boys running out the front door to play with neighborhood friends.
Connection to nature.
Safe schools.
Time together as a family.
A slower pace.
Meaningful friendships.
A life where work mattered, but didn't consume us.
A life where success wasn't measured by money or how exhausted we were.
Then we made another list with reasons to stay. It was short enough:
Money.
Opportunity.
The feeling that maybe we still had something to prove.
Then came the fears.
What if there are fewer opportunities?
What about the Irish weather?
What if we regret leaving?
What if we lose our drive?
Reading that list today really moved me.
Because every single thing we had written down as our vision has become our reality. And better even.
Our life didn’t become perfect, but we stopped acting on the fear and chose from alignment. From what felt true.
I didn't realize it then...
Looking back, I see something I couldn't see at the time.
The move to Ireland wasn't really about Ireland.
It was about finally listening to ourselves.
It was about choosing the life that felt true instead of the life that looked impressive.
And over the years, I've realized this is exactly what happens in the women I work with.
They aren't struggling because they don't know what to eat.
They're struggling because somewhere along the way...
they stopped listening to themselves.
They became the good girl.
The caretaker.
The overachiever.
The people pleaser.
The one who always says yes.
The one who holds everything together.
The one who keeps pushing herself.
Little by little...
they stopped living from their truth.
And started living from survival.
Survival is exhausting.
When we're surviving, we cope.
We numb.
We distract.
We soothe.
We avoid.
Food becomes comfort after another overwhelming day.
Wine becomes the off switch.
Scrolling becomes the escape.
Working becomes our identity.
Perfectionism becomes protection.
None of these behaviors are random.
They're intelligent adaptations to the life we’re living.
Your nervous system isn't asking,
"How can I sabotage myself today?"
It's asking,
"How can I get through this?"
That's a very different question.
The body speaks what we don't.
For years, I believed my work was about helping women lose weight and get fit.
Then I thought it was about balancing hormones.
Then metabolism.
Then emotional eating.
Today I see something deeper.
The body is constantly communicating with us.
Exhaustion.
Food cravings.
Weight that won't budge.
Digestive issues.
Hot flashes.
Chronic tension.
They are not simply inconveniences or random malfunctions to get rid of.
They are messages, communication from our body.
Your body is asking:
Are you carrying too much?
Where are you abandoning yourself?
What truth have you been swallowing?
Where are you living someone else's expectations instead of your own?
Where have you stopped trusting yourself?
This is why diets don't create lasting change.
Can nutrition help? Of course.
Can strength training transform your metabolism? Without a doubt.
Can improving sleep and blood sugar improve your health? Of course!
I teach all of those things because they matter.
But if underneath it all you're still living from the belief:
"I have to earn love."
"I have to be perfect."
"My needs don't matter."
"I have to keep everyone happy."
Then eventually the old patterns return.
And it’s not because you don’t have discipline or willpower, but because the story you’ve been living from never changed.
My work isn't really about food.
People come to me wanting to lose weight and resolve health issues.
What we end up doing is something much deeper.
We uncover the unconscious story they've been living from.
The story that quietly drives their choices, relationships, their stress, physical symptoms, and their eating.
Together we help the nervous system realize:
That story is no longer true.
Because when the story changes...
food becomes quieter and the constant pressure lifts.
That’s where the body starts responding.
But the greatest transformation isn't what happens on the scale.
It's watching someone finally become themselves.
I've watched women stop binge eating after 65 years.
Lose 60 pounds and keep it off without restriction.
Stop emotional eating—not because they developed more willpower, but because they no longer needed food to soothe emotions they had finally learned to feel and process.
I've watched women leave unhealthy relationships.
Start businesses.
Speak up.
Set boundaries.
Rest without guilt.
Laugh more.
Feel lighter.
Not just physically.
Emotionally.
Because health isn't simply about having fewer symptoms.
It's about living a life where we don’t feel we have to cope to get through it.
Maybe your body isn't working against you.
Maybe it's trying to guide you home.
Back to your truth.
Back to the life that has been quietly calling you all along.
Maybe the real question isn't:
"How do I lose weight?"
Maybe it's:
"Where in my life am I no longer being true to myself?"
Because in my experience, healing begins there.
And sometimes, everything changes when we finally listen.
If you've been waiting for the "right time" to finally understand why your body isn't responding...
This is it.
The longer you keep trying to fix the symptom, the longer the root remains untouched.
Book a complimentary 10-minute call and let's identify what's really keeping you stuck. In just a few minutes, you'll begin to see your body and yourself through a completely different lens.
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